When Even the Right Habits Take You Down the Wrong Track
Susie is one of those leaders who are kick-ass self-motivated and always up on the latest fads in personal growth. That’s why I wasn’t surprised that she had stopped setting S.M.A.R.T. goals for herself or her team after reading the multitude of blogs and research articles declaring that goal setting is risky and no longer considered a “best practice” by most leadership gurus. Instead, after noticing that ‘developing good habits’ is all the rage in the blogosphere, she shifted her focus to being aspirational — holding a vision of where she wanted to go — and started introducing and practicing “good habits” to get there. Sounded like a good approach.
Yet, when we first set out on our coaching engagement, this is what she said, “I’m so happy to be getting a coach, because I’m frustrated and realize that I must be doing something wrong. All the latest research points to the dangers of goal setting and the miracle of cultivating good habits…so I started small, just like they told me to.
I now have a wonderful routine of habits: 15 minutes each morning of meditation, 20 minutes of aerobics, and yoga three times a week. I’m in the habit of eating vegetables and drinking only one glass of wine each day. I’m habituated to get 7 hours of sleep every night and not allowing any screens in the bedroom after 11pm. Yet, lately, if I have to be honest, I’m feeling bored by all the routine. I’m sure some of these habits are paying off…but where’s the creative magic that was supposed to occur? I feel like a robot.
“Ah that’s just problem”, I responded, as compassionately as possible, “all this focus on habits we are hearing about tends to leave out a key detail: habits are just goals reframed — sort of “micro-goals”, no?”
The latest research would have you decide not to “write a novel” because that sounds too much like a big deal “goal”, but instead, make a commitment to ‘writing blogs twice a week’ and then six months later you feel sense of accomplishment because lo and behold, you’ve written enough words for a couple of novels. All well and good — you should certainly celebrate. But don’t fall for the myth that you avoided goals and just focused on habits.
Habits are just goals in miniature. They are subject to the same neurological danger zones. And you don’t have to take my word for it, the neuroscientists are of two minds: they point to the miracle of neuroplasticity — the brain seems capable of creating new neuropathways even as we age — but they are wary of anything that smacks of routine: the brain loves to harden its response to the world into deep, repetitive grooves, for it has one clear goal: minimize the need to change.
Of course, developing good habits is super helpful if you want to make a change. And we don’t throw away goals just because researchers have developed a nuanced understanding of their benefits and drawbacks. Most of us are still motivated towards a picture of a better future — and we get there most by setting goals. Habit formation — and changing the way we do the ‘little things” in more incremental steps — is a change mechanism that works, at least on the brain, in much the same way — especially if we keep at it and celebrate small wins along the way.
I’m a big believer in developing good, sound habits — for health, balance, resilience. But if you want to stay in touch with your inherent flexibility, agility, and most importantly, creativity, then you have to remember — as the neuroscientists would point out: habits, as powerful as they are, become routinized in the brain.
Habits, even good ones, can cause our brains to go on auto-pilot such that we miss the seemingly random unexpected miracles of life (e.g. I was so intent on writing this article that I failed to notice the arrival of a cardinal in my garden. Luckily I had a sudden itch — a disruptor, however slight — and was forced to look up from the keyboard, so I got to experience this florid vermillion billboard of Spring!).
If we hope to stay connected to the energy of creativity — that magical essence that make us human and not a machine — then we need to be just as wary of habits as goals.
“Ok then what’s the solution? Should I give up all these great habits and go back to late night parties and sleeping til noon?” Susie was baiting me now.
“Well, hold on.” I laughed. “I’m not against developing healthy habits any more than I’m down on all goal setting. The black and white nature of these arguments is not very useful. There are times when setting goals is absolutely key to your future success — they create a roadmap and provide milestones along the way so you can stop, notice and hopefully celebrate “success”.
Yet as the research shows, too much attachment to goals can get us in trouble — we miss the shifts in our internal landscape. For example, if your goal as a retailer was to keep building more storefronts until you have 2500 stores across America in 2019 — and you focused all your energy on that goal over past five years — well, you know where you would likely be: bankrupt. Disruption is the norm these days, so setting hard and fast goals is a risky bet. The same is true of habits.
“I love what you’re saying”, Susie responded, “because I’ve been having this recurring dream lately about buying a telescope and spending hours just gazing at the stars. Maybe even having the goal, God forbid, of becoming an arm chair astronomer. But I keep telling myself that I don’t have time for such silly activities, especially now that all my time is spent on all those good habits.”
“OMG,” I jumped in. “Gazing into a telescope sounds divine. Who knows what breakthrough idea might just pop into your head as you drink in the stars.
The bottom line: habits — which at the end of the day are just micro-goals — are very useful…until their not. I sent Susie off with a twinkle in her eye and a willingness to break a few habits — and buy herself that telescope (and maybe share it with her team!).
